The Illusion of Self-Control
What is Self-Control
There is the theory that decisions and thoughts that we experience as arising from our conscious mind are actually generated unconsciously. So, self-control is basically an illusion. If someone believes that he is in control of life, he should think about it. Because the illusion of self-control although sometimes positive but have negative consequences too.
“Many of us rely on our own illusion of control. But when God makes it known to you that you’re not the one steering the ship, be thankful. He has removed the illusion, and forced you to rely only on HIM.”
The illusion of being in self-control might be positive, as it provides us the confidence to tackle a situation. It can also be negative because we cannot possibly find the solution of every problematic situation. Our acceptance of this fact is mandatory that some things are totally out of our control. We should accept it and move on as there is no other choice. In fact, you are not in completely control of your own mind. If you are, then I tell you not to think of a black car, you would not think of it, but I will bet you that you thought of one. It is because you are not in total control of the way you feel. If you are, then you could just stop worrying about everything right now and never be distress again.
There is a way we try to dispute for self-control over uncomfortable feelings by saying the things like,
“It is not a big deal, if I caused it, I can fix it.”
Similarly, there is another way of getting rid of those situations by making the list of your most genuine fears and worries then just take an attempt to see if you can actually forget any of them or make any of them go away by struggling not to think of them. And if it does not work, then try to only think of the thing that you are anxious about and then see how soon you get rid of it. This is something that everyone should try to come over the illusion of self-control.
Sometimes we have to take responsibility for the things that did not go well because of, somehow, by our own fault. It happens when our faultfinding replaces the process of acknowledging our bad feelings that we are not doing favors to ourselves as well as others. Howbeit, there are many fundamental problems of self control and we need to indicate them and find there solution to maintain our mental health.
The feelings of unworthiness is usually the result of some bad shit happened to us at some point. So, our mind sets out like that particular situation and lost its control. However, to become conscious, is not to exercise control over the figures of our inner world, but rather to built relationship with them.
Ultimately, self-control comes from giving up the illusion of self-control and it is an authentic struggle that even resembles psychological healing by getting our values directly with ourselves so that we can get our values straight with the world.
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